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1995-05-01
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184 lines
Archive-name: devilbunnies-faq/part1
Posting-Frequency: Approximately twice per month
Last-modified: 1995/04/12
***** ALT.DEVILBUNNIES FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS *****
The Short Form
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written on October 15 1993. Updated on Oct 25, Nov 11 1993, Jan 3, Mar 5,
Jun 27, Sep 11, Dec 10 1994, Jan 6 1995. Last Updated Mar 27 1995.
Compiled, written, and edited by Bill Keyes (bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu),
with help from John Chaffey, Reijer Grimbergen, Sharree Thompson, and
others too numerous to list. Thanks all.
This is the basic FAQ, intended as an intro to alt.devilbunnies for all
those newbies and lurkers out there. Addenda is also available.
Dedicated to all of our fallen warriors. You will be avenged.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
***** THE BASICS *****
Q. What's this group all about, anyways?
A. We are a newsgroup dedicated to stopping a quiet and hostile takeover
of the Earth by the incredibly powerful, unimaginable evil, disgustingly
cute DevilBunnies. As Bunnyhunters, we are the only thing that stands
between a disbelieving human race and horrible, inescapable fluffy
doom.
Q. You've got to be kidding.
A. Yeah, I am. Sure. Just wait until that cute grey bunny that lives
under the pine tree in your backyard carries off your grandmother for
some unholy feast. Then you'll say to yourself, "Oh, I should have
listened," but it'll be too late. We warned you.
Q. OK, I'm convinced. How do I get involved in this war?
A. It's customary to post an introductory message to the group, but that
isn't necessary. If you really want to get involved, start watching
your neighborhood for signs of Bunny incursion (nibbled lettuce in your
garden, littly bunny pellets outside of your windows, ect.) Report
any suspicious activity to the nearest Army of Fudd High Command (AFHC).
Do not, I repeat, *DO NOT* attempt to confront DevilBunnies by yourself.
Your local AFHC provides weaponry, training, and professional help.
Q. What is a DevilBunny?
A. "Think of the most powerful thing you can (I mean like a black hole
or a supernova, not a Chevy). Double it. Add sharp things. Remove
all goodness. Wrap it in a cute, cuddly bunny costume." -- John
Chaffey.
Q. What do they look like?
A. DevilBunnies look exactly like regular bunny rabbits.
Q. How can you tell if it's a DevilBunny and not a regular bunny?
A. You can't, at least without years of highly specialized training.
To be on the safe side, all bunnies are considered suspect, and are
terminated with extreme prejudice.
Q. What makes DevilBunnies so dangerous?
A. Well, apart from the fact that they can rip whole towns apart, they
are incredibly cute. Just think of how insidious this war is. The
DBs can move around the countryside with relative impunity. They are
mistaken for harmless and sweet animals. Using their cuteness as
cover, they can infiltrate our communities, seduce our loved ones, and
take over the world.
Q. Where do DevilBunnies come from?
A. This is unknown right now. Current research indicates that they may
be from another planet, or possibly another dimension. There are other
theories, but keep in mind that the DBs are, for the most part, an
unknown quality.
Q. What is the scientific designation for DevilBunnies?
A. Lagomorph Demonicus.
Q. What is the Bunnyhunter's motto?
A. "Sic semper tyrannis et culiculis daemoniacis!" (Thus ever to tyrants
and DevilBunnies!)
Q. What do DevilBunnies eat?
A. Oh, the usual. Carrots, lettuce, grass. They seem to be fond of
parsley and spinach as well. Oh yeah, and they love human toes...
Q. How long do DevilBunnies live?
A. Hopefully as short as possible. But if you are talking about natural
lifespans, they normally live about 30-35 years. This has apparently
been increased by Mentat science, to about 60-70 years.
Q. Why do they write things like "Fluffy wiggle" in their posts?
A. Bunnies, in their natural state, communicate with a complex series of
non-verbal signs. Apparently, this tendency carries over to the DB's
heightened mental state. Since they lack visual cues while typing on
the computer, they are forced to type them. Plus, it makes them seem
cuter.
Q. Are DevilBunnies good to eat?
A. No. In fact, DBs are rancid, gamey, tough, and stringy. Although
they evidence a strong fondness for human flesh, we Bunnyhunters pride
ourselves on not stooping to their barbaric level. At least until they
start breeding a better tasting bunny...
Q. What's the best way to cook a DevilBunny?
A. If you are, for some reason, forced to partake of DB flesh, follow
these simple recipes:
Build a large bonfire. Make it as hot as you can. Toss the bunny into
the heart of the flame. Now wait until the fire dies down. Remove
the DB's ashes and sprinkle on toast.
Build a small cookfire. Prepare the DB to taste with your favorite
seasonings. Nail the DB to a 2x4 board. Cook until golden brown.
Now discard the Bunny and eat the board.
Q. Where can I find out more information?
A. This is the short form of the FAQ, containing all of the most basic
info you should need. If you have any more questions, there are
several options. There are several appendices to the FAQ available,
containing a "Who's who," a list of weapons, a short history of the
DBs, and several other interesting and informative things.
We also have the official alt.dbs FTP site (tm), maintained by Snowhare.
You can access the appendices, the archives, and lots of other really
cool DB stuff from there! The address is: ftp.xmission.com, the
directory is: /pub/users/s/snowhare.
In addition to the FTP site, there is also a WWW page for the newsgroup
at http://www.xmission.com/~snowhare
Please note! These addresses have recently changed! Make sure you
go to the right place, or you won't be able to find us!
Q. What other information is available?
A. There are currently six appendices to the FAQ, each of them detailing
one aspect of the war. All are reletively short. They are:
Appendix one: The Devilbunnies Mailing List
Appendix one A: Who's Who: The Fudds
Appendix one B: Who's Who: The Bunnies
Appendix one C: Where's Where
Appendix two: Bunny hunting technology
Appendix three: Evil Bunny technology
Appendix three B: Morph Armor
Appendix three C: The Bunny Virus
Appendix four: Ancient history of the Bunnies
Appendix five: The Bunnies speak
Appendix six: The Ferrotti FAQ
Appendix six A: The Ferrotti Language
At the ftp site, we have most of the posts since about March '94
archived. So if you want to look up something specific, then that's
your place!
Q. Hey, I read about you guys in <article X>! You're famous!
A. <grin> Cool! As of this update, alt.devilbunnies has been featured in
several magazine and book articles. A partial list is:
WiReD, July 1994, p66. A short article about fringe (FRINGE!?!) groups
Internet World, Jan 1995, p42. "Most Fabulous FAQs" We win! We win!
Mondo 2000, 1994... Date? p35. A two sentence mention under the
"Top 20 most interesting newsgroups." (thanks to A. Ryder!)
The Internet Yellow Pages. One paragraph, under "Bizarre stuff"
Planet Internet. A whole page, plus pictures of DevilBunnies!
If you know of any others (no matter how trivial!) please email me and
I'll include them.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the end of The DevilBunny FAQ (the short form). Any questions,
comments, clarifications, flames, ect, should be sent to Bill Keyes
(bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu).
This document and all information contained within is copyright (c) 1994
by Bill Keyes. All rights reserved. It may not be reproduced or reposted
by any means, electronic or otherwise, in part or in whole, without prior
permission from the author.
Bill.
* Bill Keyes /\ * bkeyes@lamar.colostate.edu *
* c////////=================|__|=> * "There is special providence *
* NoCoAnDeBHQ Commander & / \ * in the fall of a Bunny." *
* Bunny hunter Extreme <______> * -Shakespeare, Hamlet, V.ii. *